Read The Half Blood Luna by The Black Daisy
Chapter 29
Ella’s POV:
The first thing I felt was warmth. Warmth seeped into my whole body covering me from the inside out. It wasn’t the usual warmth that comes from being covered with a blanket. It was a warmth that promised safety and protection.
My eyes were still closed, so I didn’t know the source of that amazing feeling that I have never felt before. But I didn’t want it to go away, even if it was just a dream. I kept my eyes closed and focused on my surroundings. Half my body was laying on top of someone as I felt my head rise and fall as if it was laying on someone’s chest. A hand was gently stroking my hair. My left hand was clutching a piece of fabric very tightly.
For a second, I remembered the same kind of warmth I felt when Joseph touched my hand at the hospital. However, the feminine perfume I smelled right now confirmed that it wasn’t Joseph I was holding onto so tightly. It was a woman. But who was it? I had no idea. It was probably just a dream. I was never held like this before, and it made no sense for some stranger to hold me and soothe me so passionately.
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My curiosity got the best of me as I opened my eyes to confirm if I was dreaming or not.
I wasn’t, I was definitely sleeping on someone. I turn my head upward to see who I was laying on top of. I jerk up in a sitting position as I realize it was Sara. I stare at her with eyes wide open in surprise. How the hell did I end up curling against her?
“What happened?” I whisper to her in shock.
She sits against the headboard and answers calmly “I came to your room to talk to you after lunch, and found you with a very high fever. I called the doctor to come examine you, she gave you an injection and an IV. You have been sleeping through out the day”
I stare at her for a while trying to remember what happened after I ran off from the dining room. I couldn’t remember anything after that. This still does not explain how I ended up sleeping on top of her.
I look around me and notice that we were alone. I turn back to her and contemplate on what to say to her.
“Thank you for staying with me. You really didn’t have to do that” I say in embarra*s*sment.
“I didn’t have to, I wanted to. Look Ella, I don’t want you to be embarra*s*sed or ashamed of who you are in front of me or in front of anyone. I look at you and I see someone so strong and brave, but I also see someone who is afraid of being herself. I don’t care who your father was or what he did, I really don’t. What your father did to my family does not define you. You are not responsible for someone else’s actions, you are only responsible for your own. And from what Joseph and Klaus told me, you are a very brave and nice girl who was put through unimaginable things. I want to help you get past everything you went through, but I can’t do that if you keep avoiding looking at me”
She was right about everything. I am nothing like my father. However, I keep remembering how alpha Klaus looked at me when he found out whose daughter I was. He was disgusted. He hated me, called me a liar and a murderer’s daughter, and wanted to hurt me. The only reason he changed his mind was because he found out I was ab*sed. It was pity that changed his behavior. And I wasn’t even sure how long that behavior was going to last.
“What’s on your mind? tell me,” Asked Sara in interest.
I looked at her for a while, not sure if I should tell her anything. I have deep trust issues, of that, I was sure. The fact that I even managed to trust beta Joseph was a miracle on its own.
“I don’t think anyone can help me get past… my ab*se or the fact that I am going to live with the same people that my father hurt so deeply. And I am not just talking about you or alpha Klaus, I am talking about everyone in this pack. They will never accept me as their own once they find out who I really am”
“How much do you wanna bet that I can help you get past your ab*se and start accepting yourself? I should have probably mentioned that I have been a therapist for the past twenty-five years” she said with challenge in her voice.
I raised my eyebrows at that. I wasn’t expecting that one. Before I could respond, she carried on.
“As for being accepted, you don’t have to worry about that. The only three people who actually know the truth are willing to do whatever they can to protect your ident*ity. No one will know who your father was as long as you are comfortable with it. Whenever you wish to reveal that truth; if you ever wish to, we will be standing with you and supporting you” she said sincerely.
I didn’t know how to respond to her kindness. I really wanted to believe and trust her, but something inside me wasn’t still comfortable being around her.
A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts.
“That’s probably Joseph. He was worried sick about you,” said Sara.
“Come in,” I said.
Joseph walked in and relief filled his features when he looked at me.
“Thank god you are finally awake. I was so worried about you Ella” he bent down to hug me, and I froze for a second before hugging him back. I still wasn’t used to being hugged.
He let me go and sat at the edge of my bed.
“I am okay beta, I feel really good,” I said with a smile. His worry for me almost brought tears to my eyes. No one ever worried about me before. It felt so good to have someone concerned about me.
“Since we have agreed to become friends, I will only accept being called Joseph from now on, no beta” he said.
I smiled even more and nodded my head in agreement.
He and Sara exchanged looks for a few minutes. She was probably telling him what we were talking about through the mind link.
“Ella, there are a few things I want to discuss with you. I need you to know first that everything I ask of you has your best interest at heart. My only wish is for you to start living the life you were always meant to live, to feel loved and protected among us, and to leave everything in your past behind you. You are in no way obligated to agree to anything just because I am the one asking. You need to know that you can say no, ok?” Joseph said in a serious tone.
I didn’t know where this was going, but I felt like it was going to freak me out judging from what Joseph just told me. I nodded in hesitation.
“Sara wants to be your friend just like I am. She wants to get to know you and try to help you with adjusting to your new life. I think it would be nice to have more than one friend, don’t you think?”
I hesitate for a few seconds before answering “Yes, I think so.” I look at her and find her watching me in anticipation “We can be friends, but…I… I don’t want to… talk about… the past” I stuttered nervously.
She smiles and says “Ok, as you wish. Thank you for being honest with me Ella. And I look forward to hanging out with you. Can I hug you?”
Well, considering I was using her as my pillow for the past three, four hours, I obviously had no problem touching her, I remembered the warmth I felt before opening my eyes and realizing it was her, I felt so safe and warm with. Will I still feel it? Or was it gone once I found out it was Kate’s mother, I was seeking warmth from?
I hugged her lightly at first, then tightened my hands around her as I felt the same warmth seeping into me. She hugged me back too, much to my relief. I still wasn’t sure where she stood exactly. Was it just out of duty to her career to help me out, or did she really want to be friends with me? Time will be the only indictor.
I broke the hug after half a minute, and saw her smiling at me tearfully. It caught me off guard. She was really touched by the hug, it wasn’t out of obligation, after all.
Joseph also appeared to be touched by the exchange we just shared, as he looked at us proudly.
Awkward silence filled the room as I felt Joseph contemplate his next words.
“I have really good news for you Ella” said Joseph with a wide smile.
Ok, not what I expected him to say, judging by the long pause and hesitation he took before he said this. I looked at him quizzically.
He continued “You can start studying and training from Monday. I a*s*signed you a tutor to come to your room from nine to twelve, after which training will start in one of the training rooms from four to seven”
I couldn’t contain my excitement as I smiled automatically “Great! I am so looking forward to Monday”
“I am so happy you are excited about this. Jake is going to be a great tutor for you since he volunteered at his high school as a tutor for the past two years. He just graduated, and when he said that he wanted to take a year off before going to college, I told him about you and he happily accepted the offer to tutor you”
My smile dropped “Jake?” I asked in shock.
Joseph sensed my discomfort as he said softly “He is a great guy Ella, very well-mannered and polite. You have nothing to be scared of, you have my word.”
I gulped and stayed quiet. Now the whole speech he said at the beginning made total sense. Why would he do this when he knows I am always afraid of men in general?
“What are you thinking about, Ella? You can talk to us about anything, you need to know that,” asked Sara rea*s*suringly.
“I just thought… that the tutor was going to be a girl instead of a guy. I really don’t feel comfortable working with a guy. Can we… I mean… can you find a female tutor… please?” I said in a small voice. I wasn’t used to asking for requests. I was always the one to be doing what was asked of me in my old pack.
Sara answers me instead “Well, I actually suggested for Joseph to pick a male tutor for you. You said that you didn’t want to talk about your past with me, and I totally respect that. But your past is not the only problem you have. What you went through made you always afraid of men and that is not something you can decide to avoid too. This is going to be affecting your life here. It will get in your way as you try to function with the pack. How long do you think you can keep avoiding running into any guy around here? A week? A month? You need to start facing your fears, Ella. Even if it causes you to panic at first but you have to face them eventually, be it in a week or a month. You will never be able to avoid running into them, so you will need to start accepting that not all of them are the same. You need to be able to distinguish between who’s good and who’s bad. We will help you no matter what you choose, like Joseph said, you are free to decide for yourself. But we are only trying to help you get past this”
I couldn’t disagree with her logic, as much as I wanted to. She was right, I can’t avoid them forever. Damn, she was good at convincing.
“Ok, you are right… about everything. If you said that he is solid, then I trust your judgment,” I said to them in determination.
They both looked so relieved at my decision.
“What about the trainer?” I asked hopefully, seeing one guy everyday was bad enough, two is probably going to push my limits.
Joseph looked at Sara briefly then managed to say almost casually “Klaus volunteered to train you himself.”
My heart dropped out of my chest “You don’t mean… alpha… Klaus, do you?”
“Yes, alpha Klaus wanted to take over your training, he actually volunteered himse…”
“No, absolutely not,” I shook my head violently at Joseph. I could not believe the nerve he had to volunteer himself to train me, after everything. The fact that he thought I would agree to this was beyond my understanding.
Then it clicked, I remembered what Joseph told me about training. It gets brutal after learning the basics. The son of a b*tch was lying, he still wanted me hurt he just found a way to cover it up with ‘training’. How this passed by Joseph unnoticed meant that he really played him well.
I was on the verge of exploding, I wasn’t as safe as I thought I was. Deep down I never fully believed his change of heart, but I still hoped it was just my paranoia.