Fated To the Alpha by Jessica Hall
Chapter 261: Kyan POV
“Where do you want her?” I asked Jonah as I scooped up Marabella off the couch where she had fallen asleep.
“Ah, in the bed,” Jonah said awkwardly while scratching the back of his neck as he stood. I shake my head at his strange behavior. I figured they would be sleeping together but thought I would ask if they weren’t sharing a bed on the off-chance. Carrying her to the bedroom, I placed her in the bed and nearly walked into Jonah as he came in the door.
Kaif writhed beneath my skin, wanting to stay. The bond may be broken, but that doesn’t mean we stopped loving her. However, I found it strange being the third wheel, making me wonder if this was how Jonah felt when she was still mine.
“She didn’t even wake; I expected her to when I picked her up,” I tell Jonah.
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“I made her go back on her mn,” Jonah said, which made me look over at him.
“She is retaking her antidepressants?” I asked.
“Yes, her mother had the doctor refill her script, and he faxed it to the py down here for me,” I nodded before looking down at her.
“Are you sleeping in here too?” Jonah asked, tugging his shirt off. I wasn’t even sure I could sleep. The manor stunk so heavily of bleach I hadn’t slept since the night Lucas was k****d, the urge to keep busy preventing me from sleeping.
Looking back at the bed, I shook my head. “Na, I might head home,” I told him, feeling a little awkward, suddenly. Especially now, Jonah had claimed her and with Kaif feeling uneasy inside me with his burning jealousy.
“Kyan, get in the d**n bed,” Jonah growled at me before climbing in himself. Kaif pressed under my skin, wanting to sleep here and not back home, but I was slightly worried.
Everything felt different now; I no longer knew what to do with myself. I had spent years fighting the bond, and now I just wanted it back.
“I will behave, please,” Kaif whined while peering longingly at the bed.
“Kyan, get in the d**n bed; I know you want to. She is your mate, too.”‘ Jonah snapped, which gave Kaif a boost because he also wanted her.
“Was my mate,” I told him, not liking how that sounded rolling off my tongue. Kaif growled at me but said nothing.
“She is still your mate; nothing prevents you from remarking her. Preferably you this time, though, and not Kaif,” Jonah said before yawning and covering his mouth with his hand.
“And you’re still standing there like a b****y creeper; if you want, I will spoon you,” Jonah offered with a laugh. Although that actually didn’t sound half bad, not that I would admit it to him, I wasn’t exactly known for liking cuddles.
I moved toward the bed with a sigh, toed off my shoes, and shrugged my jacket off. Removing my belt, I let my pants fall when Jonah tossed me a pair of his boxer shorts from his bedside drawer.
“Seriously?” I asked, catching them.
“I would rather go pant-less,” I tell him.
“Suit yourself,” Jonah said before rolling on his side and tugging Mara closer so I could squeeze in next to her.
“Ah, you going to turn the lamp off, or are we sleeping with it on? I promise not to let the bogey man get you,” I tell him, rolling on my side to face Marabella. Jonah sighed, and I peeked over the top of her to look at him.
“Ah, what?”‘ I asked, feeling he was hesitant to ask about whatever was bothering him.
“Marabella wants to mark me. I have been putting off,” Jonah told me.
“Why?” I asked him. I half expected him to jump at the idea, Kaif to press forward to find out why he would hold off. Still, he was also jealous, which made me a little uneasy knowing he was listening in.
“One because of you, I didn’t want to upset you. I know you were a little peeved that I marked her,” Jonah said.
“I wasn’t angry; I don’t know what I was,” I admit, still unsure how I will fit into this bizarre relationship they have going on; it was different when she was mine. I was willing to share; maybe I thought Jonah wouldn’t be now that he had her to himself.
“The other reason?” I asked him when he didn’t continue. embarra*s*sment washed through the bond, making me sit up on one elbow to look at him. I had never seen him embarra*s*sed before. He didn’t embarr@sseasily, usually, he was the one embarra*s*sing me.
“Oh g*d, what is it?” Kaif muttered, feeling his discomfort too.
“She wants to have s*e*x,” Jonah blurted, and my eyebrows rose almost to my hairline.
“So, how do you expect to mate her if you don’t have s*e*x with her?” I asked him with a shake of my head. I can’t believe I was actually having a conversation with my best friend about f*****g my mate.
“I like Jonah, but I am not listening to you give him the s*e*x talk so he can f**k our mate,” Kaif growled, feeling uncomfortable and pissed off.
“But it would be her first time?” Jonah sighed.
“Everyone has a first time,” I tell him. Lying back down and getting comfortable, I watched Marabella.
“Yeah, and I would rather forget mine. Thank you very much.”‘ Jonah stated.
“Can’t have been that bad?” I told him.
“Ah, you took me to a dn brothel. The woman was old enough to be my mother, and she was panting over the top of me; that st traumatized me for life.” I felt him shudder, and I snickered at the memory of h****r on his face when I took him to it on his 18th birthday.
“You picked her, not my fault,” I chuckled.
“You could have said no,” I said with a shake of my head.
“I did. Then we played cards most awkward experience of my life, one I would like to forget.”
“Then why did you pick her again when we went back? You always picked her?” I asked, wondering why he would choose the same woman every time we went if she was so terrible.
“We played cards while waiting for you,” he says, and my brows furrowed.
“Every time?” I asked, sitting back up.
“Every time. Although I am shocked you even went to them being such a clean freak or with any of the girls you were with from the club,”
“Had no choice; Kaif was always unsettled wanting his mate, kind of like a deterrent to stop him hunting down Ella,” I answered, looking down at her.
“And yet you eat p***y,” Jonah laughs.
“That’s different,” I chuckled.
“Ah no, it’s not; I drank from your drink once by accident, and you threw out,” Jonah laughed.
“It’s different, I don’t know how, but it is; just sleep with her, Jonah. Pretty sure it is more to with the person than the act itself,” I told him with a yawn. It would be impossible for me to understand some of the strange compulsions. I knew they weren’t rational; I believe they were more of a control issue or, at the very least, feeling in control.
“Here, I thought you would be jumping for joy having her to yourself,” I tell him, and Kaif growls; if he didn’t have her, his mindset was nobody could. Jonah hums but never answers, and I knew it was because he was still pissed off at me because she k****d herself. He flicks off the lamp, sending the room into darkness, and I roll on my back, trying to get some sleep.
It was Marabella’s voice that woke me in the early hours of the morning; it was still pitch dark until Jonah gr0@ned and turned on the lamp beside him. I squinted at the sudden brightness as my eyes adjusted to the light.
Marabella mutters, squirming in her sleep, and Kaif pressed to the surface, peering out my eyes. Her heartbeat was thumping loudly, and Jonah sat up, rubbing a hand down his face.
“She’s dreaming; I think her mn makes them worse,” he says, turning to wake her. Curiosity got the better of me, wondering if I was the main reason for her nightmares. Before I even realized what I was doing, I placed my fingertips on her face.
“What are you doing?” Jonah yawned, pulling his hand back.
“Just want to see something,” I whispered, feeling my magic fizzle to the surface when I was s*cked into her dream. The gasp that left me as new surroundings materialized was loud. Suddenly I was inside her head and dreams as a bystander.
I recognized the room. It was one from the manor, and my heart thudded loudly as I watched peering around it, though it was different. However, it wasn’t until I realized I had never been in this room with her before, that it confused me. A woman walked in, one of Kaif’s shadow mates from a different time; she carried a baby in her arms.
Kaif followed a few seconds later, walking in behind her, a worried look on his face. Only now do I know why he was concerned, why he kept it from me for years. “Why is Marabella dreaming this?” I whispered to myself.
“Because I gave them to her,” Came a voice I never thought I would hear again. Spinning, I looked toward the door to see my father standing there exactly the way I remembered him last time I saw him. The shock of seeing him had me stumbling back as he walked into the room toward me.
“Dad?” he nodded to me sadly.
“Hey, son,” he murmured.
“Wait, how? Are you real?” I asked, shaking my head as I tried to get my bearings. The sound of his voice, how I had longed to hear it again.
“In a sense, but physically, no,” he said, moving toward me.
“But you’re really here, like in her dreams?” I asked, wanting to touch him.
“She is scared; I am her guardian, just like Jonah was yours. The pull to go to her when she has heightened emotion drags me in sometimes,” he explains, and I nod. He watches the shadow memory playout, moving around the room, and I follow.
“Why?” I murmured, unable to help myself. One thing that constantly plagued me was why he would choose to leave me.
“Why did I leave you?” he asked, and I nodded.
“I never left you, Kye, but it was the only way to break the curse,” he says, and I look away and I nod as emotion ch*oked me at seeing him like he was that day. The same and no different, stuck in a time when he was still with me.
“She is strong enough to survive the curse, Kyan; I made sure of it. It’s why I gave her the shadows,” he tells me, motioning to Kaif, who had just k****d his mate, and I look at him.
“How does this help, you being d**d? How does any of this help?” I asked.
“Because they become filled with rage, Luna’s rage, they can’t explain it and only act on it. Marabella can live with the shadows because she always has. She knows why he k****d them.
She has watched it repeatedly all her life.” My first thought was all the nightmares she suffers from; here I thought it was because of her depression when she was really living with the ghosts of Kaif’s past.
“She will forgive you, son.” my father murmured.
“She k****d herself because of me,” I tell him.
“No, she k****d herself because she couldn’t bear to be alone; Marabella has you, she has Jonah, the only one that needs to forgive themselves is you. Marabella never blamed you, Kyan; she blamed herself.” my brows furrow.
“Forgive yourself, Kyan. Forgive yourself for breaking her because you never did. I broke her by giving her the shadows, causing her depression for all these years; I broke her, so you didn’t have to. He whispered, “I broke her to fix you.” he added, making me look at him.
“Fix me. You f*****g destroyed me!”
“What I did destroyed you. If I didn’t, you would have destroyed yourself when you k****d Marabella and me; I gave you a chance to break the curse, to set us all free.
Sometimes sacrifices need to be made, son. It doesn’t mean they are permanent, but they are needed.” He says. I shake my head. How could he say that when I was a child?
“I’m not gone; break the curse and set me free,” he said before the dream fizzled as Marabella started to wake.
“No, Dad,” I gasped as he began to fade out.
“I’m still here,”‘ his voice was barely audible as the dream broke, and I tried to cling within in remnants, only to be ripped out.
“Kyan?” Marabella whispered before I felt her fingers run through my hair. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter before s*cking in a breath. Opening them Marabella stared at me worriedly before cupping my cheek with her hand; the tingles that I used to get from her touch are now gone.
“I need to go, Ella. I’m sorry, but I can’t be around right now,” I said, pushing up off the bed. I grab my clothes, pull them on, and leave. I heard her call out behind me, heard Jonah too. But I couldn’t; I couldn’t trust myself to stay in control when so many things were out of my control.