Sold as the Alpha King’s Breeder by Alice Knightsky
Chapter 187 Ethan, Have You Ever Loved Me?
I blinked a few times and then opened my eyes. Everything felt strange, but the pain I’d been feeling only a moment ago quickly dissipated.
I was no longer in the bedroom with Rosalie. Instead, I was lying in a meadow full of velvety green grass with bright purple flowers dotting the landscape. Above me, a bright azure sky provided a picturesque backdrop for bright fluffy clouds that lazed by. Pulling myself up to sitting, I spotted a quaint temple in the distance. It instantly reminded me of the one I’d visited with Rosalie a few days before, though I wasn’t certain it was the same one.
Standing, I headed over to the temple, wondering what I might find inside. The building called to me, its stone facade twinkling in the bright sunlight as if it were glowing.
Even before I reached the large wooden doors, adorned with carvings of the Moon Goddess, I felt a yearning in my heart that let me know precisely who I would find inside.
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Pushing the door open, I entered. A red runner lined the walkway in front of me, leading up to the altar where the statue of the Moon Goddess, with her white flowing hair and outstretched hands, looked down upon the place of worship. Beneath her, laid out as if this was a funeral, lay my sweet Rosalie, her eyes closed, her chest still.
As I walked toward her, I noted the beauty of the white dress she wore, how it sparkled in the soft candlelight that surrounded her at the altar. Her hair was curled and framed her face and shoulders, and her long eyelashes and bright red lips made her look as lovely as I’d ever seen her. But it was clear my Rosalie wasn’t just sleeping.
She was gone.
With tears in my eyes, I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, savoring the feeling of her mouth on mine.
When I lifted my head, Rosalie gasped, sucking in a deep breath. I moved aside and looked down at her as her eyelids fluttered a few times, and then her eyes opened, and she was staring at me. “Ethan?” she asked.
It took me a few seconds to figure out what I should do. I tried to calm my racing heart, worrying that my loud heartbeat may scare her away again.
I almost wished time could stop here, forever But she asked again tentatively, “E-Ethan?” I felt my throat tighten, but finally, I answered. “I’m here, Rosalie.”
I took her hand as she slowly turned her head to look around. Once she had her bearings, she sat up, and I steadied her so she wouldn’t lose her balance
“I… I think I must be dreaming,” she mumbled. Thinking back to the last memory I had from before I awoke in the field of flowers, I concurred. “It’s a beautiful dream,” I told her.
A soft smile lit her face. “I thought I might never get to see you again.”
“I’m here,” I told her again, and she nodded. I reached up and caressed her porcelain cheek, my thumb lingering on her cheekbone. “I’m here now.”
“It’s so quiet and peaceful here. I’m glad we finally have a chance to talk. Alone.” Her smile widened, and I felt a rush of joy and sadness mingling together in my heart.
I knew precisely what she wanted to talk to me about. It was the same conversation I’d been putting off for days. We had so much to discuss. I had so much to apologize for, so much to explain to her.
Yet, at the same time, I didn’t see the point. What good would it do me now to pour my heart out to her, to tell her how much I loved her, how I had always loved her?
She was such a kind person. Whether she loved me or not, she would regret my decision. She would condemn herself to a life of sadness because I had sacrificed myself for her, something she didn’t need to do because she had already willingly given up everything for me.
Rather than giving her the time to talk to me, I helped her off of the altar and started walking toward the door, her arm looped through mine.
It was nice, just being alone with her, having a moment where words were not necessary I could feel the love deep within me radiating out of my being, and it was fully reciprocated in her.
“Ethan-” she began just before we reached the end of the aisle.
I stopped her I didn’t want to hear what she had to say. Yes, I was a coward. I was afraid. “Rosalie.” I spun her to face me and we stopped near the door to the temple. An overwhelming sense of melancholy washed over me as I thought about all of the moments in life we would never get to share together.
Rowan’s first steps, him going to school, graduating, getting married…. Us getting married… maybe another child, a peaceful home in the mountains…. Growing old together.
“Rosalie,” I repeated. “I… am sorry. For everything I ever did to fail you. I’m sorry I could never be the man you needed me to be.”
Her forehead crinkled as she stared up at me. “Ethan-’
I shook my head and interrupted her. “From the very beginning, I mistreated you, and of all of the bad decisions I have made in my life… not seeing you for who you were from the first moment I met you was my greatest mistake.”
She was shaking her head, but I couldn’t listen to anything else she wanted to say to me. Tears threatened to fall from my eyes, and now was not the time for me to cry.
“I’m grateful to the Goddess for giving me this opportunity to apologize to you…”
She was fighting tears herself. “Ethan,” she said, struggling to get the words out. ‘Answer me, just one question “
My eyes locked on hers. As if she gathered all of her courage, she asked, “Have you ever loved me?”
I stared at her, and my lips parted. However, I couldn’t make a sound.
What did she mean? What was she trying to say?
I couldn’t even dream about that possibility. After all of the turmoil I’d created in her life, all of the problems we’d gone through, all of the tears she’d shed over me… how could she possibly love me? But I couldn’t help letting hope rise in my heart. The likelihood that maybe, there was the slightest possibility that she might love me in return, made my entire body tremble.
However, I couldn’t answer that question. Even if, in this moment, she thought she did love me, even if she somehow found it within her heart to forgive me and love me in spite of everything, her love would be a waste.
She would live the rest of her life alone, contemplating what could have been between us. No, I couldn’t sentence the rest of her life to torture. Not when I could release her with a single word.
Looking into her tear-filled eyes, I said, “No.”
She gasped and covered her mouth. With all the strength I had left inside of me, I pushed out the word that stabbed my heart. “Never.”
As Rosalie burst into tears, I took her by the shoulders, pulled the door open, and gently pushed her out of the temple “You’re free now, Rosalie,” I told her.
“Ethan?” She gazed up at me with agony in her eyes. “Ethan-!!”
With one more look at her beautiful face, I closed the door and dropped the bar into place, sealing both of our fates.
She was finally free.
**Rosalie’s POV**
My head was fuzzy, and my body felt weak. It felt as if a great weight had been lifted off of my chest, and I was breathing for the first time in a while. As I drew in a deep breath and opened my eyes, I focused on the white ceiling above me and remembered that I was back at the palace. My head was swimming, and I could hardly remember everything that had happened. My body felt tingly, like it had been asleep, numb without full blood flow, but now… it was coming back to life. Within seconds of opening my eyes, I started to feel stronger. I lifted a hand to my forehead, brushing my hair away from my face, and my eyes focused on the white silky strands that threaded through my fingers.
My hair was white.
It all came back to me then-the battle, the fight with Madalynn and her mate, and returning to the palace to make sure that we were ready for the next battle.
Then… I’d grown so weak, I couldn’t even get out of bed.
I was dying from the same curse that my mother had died from. So why did I feel better now?
I realized that my face felt wet and warm liquids were pouring out of my eyes… All of a sudden, my heart hurt so much. Another memory came back to me, the sound of Ethan’s voice.
He had been there with me. He woke me up from the Moon Goddess’s sacred altar… What happened afterwards…? We seemed to have a conversation…
My head hurt a lot, and I couldn’t remember. And then…and then… He sacrificed himself for me!
“Oh, Goddess! No!” I yelled as soon as those thoughts sank into my brain, I pushed myself up from the mattress, attempting to sit up.
Only I couldn’t, not fully anyway. Something was weighing me down, and it wasn’t the lack of strength in my own body now.
Looking down, I saw him immediately. “Ethan!” He was lying on my stomach, completely immobile.
My heart froze. Then I was even more terrified when I saw horrendous wounds, cuts and bruises all over his face and his body.
My voice trembled, “Ethan, Ethan… what happened to you…?”
I flipped him onto his back and raised up on my knees, pressing my ear to his face. I could feel a slight release of warm air on my cheek and hear a faint heartbeat.
But it was clear that he was fading fast. Blood… my blood. I needed to give him my blood!!
Looking around the room, I saw a pair of scissors on the dresser. I bounded up off of the bed and snatched them up, coming back to Ethan as I opened them wide and used one of the sharp blades to slice through the skin on my arm.
Immediately, a trail of blood beaded up on the surface of my skin. A ripple of pain shot through my arm, but it was nothing compared to the agony I was already feeling in my heart.
I only had one thought- I couldn’t lose him! I couldn’t lose the father of my child and the only man I’d ever loved.
Pulling his mouth open, I raised my arm above his mouth and let the drops of blood roll down the back of his tongue and into his mouth. Squeezing my arm, I did my best to get more blood out of my body and into him. “Come on, Ethan, d’mnit!” I shouted. “Wake up —”