Read The Half Blood Luna by The Black Daisy
Chapter 51
Ella’s POV
“Good morning Ella, are you awake?”
I open my eyes to the sound of alpha Klaus in my head.
I check my phone and find it 9:07 a.m.
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I overslept again. It wasn’t really a big deal since today was Sunday, my only day off from studying and training.
After alpha Klaus left last night, I tossed and turned for a long time, but sleep wouldn’t come again.
Although my body and my mind were both exhausted, but my mind refused to shut up and stop thinking.
I stayed awake until dawn trying to wrap my head around my decision. It wasn’t an easy one. In fact, it was the hardest most unpredictable decision I have ever made so far.
There was no guarantee that I will not end up regretting it deeply.
Alpha Klaus promised that he will do everything he can to make this work for both of us. When the hell did I become so trusting? Why should I believe that he will keep his promise?
The old Ella would have never agreed to this. He can go find another woman for himself, and if he doesn’t then he can give up his alpha position for all I care. Getting involved with another man, another alpha, was something I vowed to myself I would never go through again.
It was all my father’s fault. If I never felt like I needed to clear myself from under his unforgivable sin, I would never have had to offer myself.
What’s done is done, I finally told myself. I can’t go back on my offer now. Whether we are going to make it out of this undamaged, was to be seen later.
I just needed some kind of insurance from him first. A lifeline that will save me if things don’t go the way he promised they would.
I answer him back sleepily “Good morning alpha, I just woke up. Can we meet in my room in fifteen minutes please? There are things I want to discuss with you before we meet Joseph and Sara”
“Ok” was all he said back.
I get out of bed and have a quick shower to freshen up. I wear comfortable clothes consisting of a black skinny jean, light blue long-sleeve shirt, and white sneakers. I keep my hair down, parted to the side.
I was just finished making my bed, when a soft knock came from the door.
I open the door for the alpha and step aside to let him in.
He was wearing all black today too. Apparently, he doesn’t prefer any other color.
“Hi, how are you?” he asks firmly as he sits down on the sofa and motions for me to do the same.
“I’m good, how are you alpha?” I answer softly.
“I’m good too. So, what did you want to talk about?” he asks curiously.
I bite my lip and try to gather my thoughts before speaking.
I notice his eyes looking down at my lips, and I instantly release the lip I was biting into nervously.
“Ummm… I wanted to add a condition to our deal. I think it is something useful for both of us, not just me. I know we promised each other that we will try our best to make this last without hurting one another or crossing our limits, but I want you to promise me that if, at some point in our marriage, one of us decides that it became too unbearable to continue this life together, that we can separate on good terms” I say nervously.
He seemed to consider what I said for a while then said sincerely “I suppose it is a fair condition. I don’t want you to be miserable with me Ella. So whenever you feel like you can’t stay in this any longer, I will end it immediately, you have my word”
I nod in appreciation and relax a little. At least this way, if we end up hating each other again; which is very likely considering our tendency to get on each other’s nerves most of the time, we can go our separate ways and I don’t have to be stuck in an unhappy marriage.
“Is that everything you wanted to talk about?” he asked quietly.
“No there is something else. I would like to talk to that guy” I said with a little unease.
The thought of seeing him again scares the crap out of me. But I needed to know the truth.
He furrowed his eyebrows and asked in confusion “what guy? Don’t tell me the one in the cell.”
“Yes that one,” I said in a small voice.
“Why on earth would you want to see him again?” he demands in frustration.
Why on earth is he getting angry at me?
“I want to ask him about something he said to me on the roof,” I say plainly trying not to react to his sudden outburst.
“What makes you think he will simply answer you or even tell you the truth?”
“How are you planning on getting your answers from him alpha or even ensure that whatever comes out of his mouth will be the truth? You can’t even alpha command him” I ask him in return.
He doesn’t say anything so I continue “I don’t know if he will give me an answer or tell me the truth. But I have to try at least.”
He sighs and says disapprovingly, “I don’t want you to go anywhere near him Ella. Tell me what you want me to ask him and I will tell you what he says to me”
“No, I want to ask him myself, and I want to hear the answers from him myself” I say stubbornly.
He closes his eyes briefly then opens them and says in a hard tone, “Why do you always have to challenge me Ella? I said you are not seeing him and that’s my final word on this.”
Ok, he is being a jerk again and I no longer want to hold myself.
“I am not challenging you, I am asking for something reasonable here and you make it sound so horrible and horrific. You have questions for him, and you will stop at nothing to get them. Well, I do too. What’s the problem? I don’t understand.”
“I don’t have to justify my actions or my decisions to you. I am still your alpha in case you forgot,” he says coldly.
I get up from the sofa and walk towards the window, while I try to keep the angry tears from falling.
How dare he deny my right to seek the truth for myself? We are not even married yet and he is ordering me around and deciding who I can and can’t see.
The thing I hated the most was the control he is forcing over me and my inability to disobey him because he’s my alpha. Next thing I know, he will order me not to study with Jake anymore because he doesn’t like him and I will have no choice but to comply. That is the exact thing I was afraid of.
I turn around with tears falling down my face, and give him a piece of my mind. Consequences be damned.
“All my life, I was always being ordered around without questioning anything because I was nobody. In the past ten months especially, I was always being f0rced into submission. No matter what disgusting things I was f0rced to do, I did them because I had no other choice. My choices were to either submit or suffer. At first I resisted, I said no, I disobeyed because what was being ordered of me was something I didn’t want to do. And for that, I suffered and suffered until I couldn’t take it anymore. After that, I realized that I never really had a choice. Disobeying was pointless, it will only get me K*lled someday. So, I obeyed, I did what I had to do to survive, even though the suffering never really ended. I submitted to every order that was asked of me even though it made me hate myself extremely, and that alone nearly destroyed me.”
“If you want to treat me the same way, if you want yourself a submissive that you can order around and control her life from A to Z without disagreeing with you, if you don’t want someone who will speak her opinion and contradict you, then I can’t be your wife. Because I am just SO DONE with being controlled. I will challenge you, disagree with you, I will say no to something, and speak my mind without filtering my words like I am doing right now and if you will lash out on me or pull out the I am your alpha and you will do as I say without questioning or disagreeing card, then I am not the right person for you and you are not the right person for me.”
I’m barely holding the sobs from coming out. I don’t want to cry in front of him. So, I hold myself tightly and wrap my arms around myself to contain them.
I was still standing by the window and he was sitting on the sofa a few feet away, gazing at me in a mixture of admiration and sympathy.
I hated the look of sympathy, and I instantly regretted that I overshared some details about my old life. I just told him stuff I never even told Sara about and she was so much closer to me than him. But I needed to make a very clear point to him, so he could decide what he wants before it’s too late.
He stands up and walks towards me. He kept staring at me with the same expression on his face before he did something so astonishing.
He hugged me tightly.