The Luna’s Choice by Kat Silver Book 2
The Luna’s Fate by Kat Silver (Theo and Ayla)
Chapter 51 (Ayla)
I froze when my hand touched the cold metal door handle.
What the f*ck was I doing?
I had blocked Theo from me in my anger, but he was still coming through to me. I could feel his turmoil and confusion. I could feel his pain. Pain that I caused. And for what? Because he wouldn’t kill someone for me? Because he wouldn’t let me kill him?
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What kind of monster was I?
A million questions and accusations ran through my mind as my knees gave way, and I sunk to the hardwood floor.
What the hell was wrong with me?
Theo was right. This wasn’t me. Throughout our entire fight, M knew what he was saying made sense. I knew we needed to keep him alive to get information. But my rage was so consuming that I didn’t care. I hated Lloyd so much I felt like I was on fire.
I couldn’t pinpoint what cleared my mind from that haze, but something had. Now, I just felt remorse and pain and fear. I was scared of how I just acted. I felt Theo next to me. I was scared of the damage I just did.
I don’t know how long it took for me to finally calm down. Theo just held me like he always did. Whenever I came close to composure, I thought about how amazing he was and another wave would hit me. When I finally felt like it had all passed, my body ached from crying and my face was thoroughly covered in tears and snot.
“I’m sorry, Theo,” I said once more as I released my hold on him. “I shouldn’t have said those things. I shouldn’t have tried to leave. I shouldn’t have been mad at you. I don’t know what came over me.”
Theo sighed, brushing my hair back and wiping my cheeks with his thumbs. “You’ve been overwhelmed, baby. You’ve had a rough day. I think it’s just time to call it and go to bed. And tomorrow, your life will be about the normal things, okay? School, work, friends, all those good things.”
I nodded. I guess I needed that more than I thought. It was still a little painful to admit I couldn’t handle it all, but I wouldn’t let my pride risk this happening again.
Theo lifted me to my feet and led me to the bedroom. He helped me change into pajamas and we crawled into bed together. I was exhausted but I couldn’t fall asleep. I was pressed against Theo, feeling the rise and fall of his chest, but I still felt a subtle distance between us. He was still upset with me.
He sighed, resting his forehead on my head.
“Ayla…”
“Yes,” I murmured.
“Don’t threaten to command me again,” he replied, “please.”
Horror and guilt washed through me as the weight of my threat hit me.
“Never again. I swear,” I said firmly. I squeezed him tighter, and he did the same.
“And please, please, don’t ever f*cking leave me,” he begged. “Please.”
“I swear,” I repeated.
He was quiet for a while. I thought he had fallen asleep when he spoke again.
“You know this will be worse for him.”
“What?” I asked, looking up at him.
“He will fight every command,” he explained. “It will be long and agonizing. I will promise you that. He will get what he deserves. And when he does die, he will die knowing he helped us defeat everything he was fighting for.”
I didn’t want to say it was comforting, but it was reassuring. And it brought me a small sense of peace. I snuggled in close to Theo once more and quickly drifted off to sleep.
***
We had a slow morning the next day. It didn’t have class until later, so Theo got up and made a big breakfast for us. The distance I had felt last night was gone and I felt a weight had been lifted off of me. We were nearly finished with our meal when there was a knock on our door. I looked at Theo and saw someone was linking him.
“It’s Will and Kingston,” he said, pushing away from the table to go let them in.
stood to follow, hanging back a little as he opened the door and invited them in.
“Good morning, Ayla,” Kingston said kindly.
They both looked terrible, especially Kingston. He must have been down in the cellar all night. And by the looks of it, his temper had also gotten the better of him a time or two. There were various smatterings of blood on his clothes and his knuckles were bruised and split. Kingston followed my gaze and realized the state he was in.
“My apologies,” he sighed. “I should have stopped to change.”
“No,” I insisted, taking a little comfort in what his appearance implied. “Are you okay, though?”
He gave me a small smile. “I feel a bit better,” he replied wryly, flexing his fingers.
The corners of my lips twitched. I was glad he was getting some sense of justice as well. The Onyxcrown slaughter had a far deeper impact on him than it ever would on me. He needed that experience with Lloyd.
“Were you able to get anything out of him?” Theo asked, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned against the couch.
“Not much,” Kingston said. “He did elude to another attack on Sablemane soon. I tried to stay vague and taunting, but he gave away more than he realized. I’m pretty sure I know where this is going down. I’m going home to prepare.”
“You don’t think he’s toying with you?” Theo asked..
“Oh, he very well could be,” Kingston said with a shrug. “But I still think I need to be there to handle whatever happens.” His eyes met mine. “Besides, I think I need a little distance from him. Otherwise, it will be hard to keep from being someone I don’t want to be anymore.”
I understood what he was saying. I was glad he was able to recognize that danger and step away. I would hate to see this turn him back into the person he was a couple months ago. He was better than that.
“I’ll keep you all up to date on what is going on,” he said. “Randy is already helping get some confirmation. He also said he would be making his way here soon. He wants to check this guy out as well. See if he can place his rank within the Society.”
Theo nodded. “He told me.” He straightened up. “Get some rest and clean up before you go. We’ll have an escort ready to ensure you make it back to Sablemane territory safely.”
Theo offered his hand, which Kingston accepted, shaking it firmly. I followed by stepping in to give him a hug.